F*ck Your Calculator
seriously. f*ck that thing.
Things move.1 Living things are dynamic. Trying to measure dynamic things as if they’re static can create a lot of confusion. Looking at group data to make decisions about an individual can cause even greater confusion. If that’s a new concept to you, get caught up on Things That Move here. When it comes to improving your health or looking better naked, we can sum it up by saying…
F*ck your calculator.
"This calculator says that if I eat 2,500 calories a day I will lose half a pound a week”
Ok. So eat 2,500 calories a day. If you don’t lose half a pound a week… f*ck your calculator.
"This calculator says that if I take an extra 5,000 steps a day I will lose half a pound a week”
Ok. So take an extra 5,000 steps a day. If you don’t lose half a pound a week… f*ck your calculator.
It seems obvious, right?
And yet…
Millions of people around the world are plugging their height, weight, age, and goal into an app or calculator to get a set of instructions, following the instructions and not getting the outcome the calculator told to expect.
And then…
Wait for it…
Doing it again.
Not just doing it again, but completely ignoring reality and expecting it to work this time. It seems absurd to me.
The calculator is not a representation of reality - it’s an estimation based on a large set of data - group data. It might even be a good estimation (it depends on how close you are to the group average) but it’s an estimation. There is nothing wrong with starting with an estimation.
Think of the calculator as a tool to help you form a hypothesis and then frame it as such. “My hypothesis is the if I do X, Y will happen”. If you do X and Y does not happen, it would be nonsensical to believe the original hypothesis is true, reality is wrong and to keep doing X and expecting Y.
If your calculator says: Eat 2,500 calories and you will lose half a pound a week and then you eat 2,500 calories a week and lose a quarter of a pound…
….guess which one is real?
Yep. F*ck your calculator. It may have helped you get started in collecting the data with an educated guess, but once the data come in, that is the reality for you.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not wrong. or broken. A calculator can never tell you what’s “supposed” to happen to a dynamic, evolving system using group indexed data.
A quick example.
Paul is 6’ 200 lbs and maintains his weight eating 4,000 calories a day
Jim is 6’ 200 lbs and maintains his weight eating 1,800 calories a day.
Both are 40 years old.
Their maintenance level of calories is a byproduct of their individual genetics and all the adaptions their body has made to the things they have done and been through over 40 years.
It’s individual to them.
On average, they are 6’ , 200 lbs , 40 years old, and maintain their weight at 2,900 calories a day. A calculator would tell them both that their maintenance is 2,900 calories.
…even though neither of them would maintain their weight at 2,900 calories.
Paul would lose weight - probably precipitously.
Jim would rapidly gain weight.
Neither is broken. Or wrong.
They just aren’t average. Most people aren’t. They make up the average, but they aren’t average themselves. The average American male is 5’9 - most men you know are not 5’9. The average American Male over 20 is 197.9 pounds - most men you know re not 197.9 pounds. The average waist circumference of an American male is 40.2 inches - most men you know do not have a 40.2 inch waist.
You get it.
Very few individuals in the group that make up the average - are average. So the data made up of the average will apply to very few individuals. Once again… f*ck your calculator.
If you need to use one to get started, fine.
But as soon as you get the data, it doesn’t matter what the app says anymore. When you do X, Y happens. That’s the reality. Decisions should be made based on that reality, not the calculator estimations.
Just like any hypothesis, things may not turn out as expected. You may have to explore why they didn’t turn out as expected, isolate variables and get more data. That’s part of the game.
But ignoring reality because some calculator or app says something else should have happened?
Silly.
I can’t tell you what’s going to happen. Your Fitbit can’t tell you what’s going to happen. Your online calculator can’t tell you what’s going to happen. What happens, happens - and that’s the data you need.
Good luck.
Live to learn. Give to earn.
Nic
PS. This is an extension of the Rearview Mirror. Most of what you need to figure out the next step is right in front of behind you. Just scoop up the evidence that’s already there.